Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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