His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
God, I missed his penis.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
