no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
