My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
