Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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