Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
