Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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