It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize