Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
