how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Randomize
