i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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