Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
