So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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