Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
