Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
