it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
