How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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