i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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