Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
