I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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