No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
