Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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