Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize