i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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