i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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