this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
