is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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