I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
