everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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