He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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