Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
