I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
