Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
