you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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