I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
