i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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