Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
