The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
