life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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