You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize