i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
