Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
