I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
