just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
