My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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