If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
