So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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