Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
