You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
