I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are two peas in an std pod
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
