He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My feet surprised me
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
