a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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