i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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