a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
