somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
