He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize