What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
