Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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