HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have fence marks all over my body
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
its liver damage thursday
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
