it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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