And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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