see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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