you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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