so that wasnt chicken after all
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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