it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
