3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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