Plan B is the new Plan A
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
