omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
