it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I stole a fireplace last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
